shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
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There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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