are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
