Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
