great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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