I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
