I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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