today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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