Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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