saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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