I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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