y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
