My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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