Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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