Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
