Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
