cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
