the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
