i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
