Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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