I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
