butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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