Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
