I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
