so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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