wrigley field is MILF paradise
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
