he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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