So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
