Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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