Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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