its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
