naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
