took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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