Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
