I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
