the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
