I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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