oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
