Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This is my gift to your gina
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
