the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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