I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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