Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
