the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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