dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
