Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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