I CAN MOONWALK!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
