I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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