I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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