there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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