Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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