let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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