super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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