what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
