I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
