We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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