When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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