Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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