Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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