I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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