Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
