first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
