The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
