summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
