and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
