Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
