yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
